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Castro to interfere with Colts and Bears? |
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January 30, 2007 |
Los Angeles, January 30, 2007 – Super Bowl reporters are concerned about what will happen if Cuba’s ailing Fidel Castro dies just before or during the game!
Robert Parker, director of the Miami-Dade Police Department, says his department is prepared to deal with it: “We have not only discussed plans pertaining to a change in the Cuban government, but we’ve rehearsed it.” They’ve rehearsed changing the Cuban government?!?
Super Bowl security will extend to the parking lots as well. No tents, lawn chairs or open fires will be allowed!
= Tonight’s menu =
>> The 27-17 Lakers are in Madison Square Garden tonight for a tilt with the 19-27 Knicks, who have lost eight of their last 10 with Los Angeles. The Lakers are without Kwame Brown and Luke Walton and Kobe Bryant, with a one-game suspension. Although the Knicks are 11-13 at home, they are a two-point favorite tonight. The over-under is 204, so the oddsmakers have it Knicks 103, Lakers 101.
>> The Kings are on the road, where they have a 6-17 record and face 26-17-3 Calgary, which is 19-5 at the SaddleDome. The Flames have lost two straight, but the Kings have dropped eight of their last nine, so you need to bet $120 to win $100 on the Kings, but $260 to win $100 on the home team.
= NFL/pro football =
>> Super Bowl, Las Vegas style: the insanity of South Beach or New Orleans isn’t nearly as wild as some of the betting propositions coming out of Las Vegas for the Super Bowl game.
Examples: Will there be a safety? You have to pay in $1,100 to win $100 if you say no, but a $100 on yes could win you $800! Or, do you think the game will go to overtime? If you think so, you have to put up $190 to win $100, but if you say no, your $100 bet could win you $170. You can bet on whether Peyton Manning’s first pass will be complete, whether Rex Grossman will throw an interception in the first half and the total number of receiving yards by Chicago’s Bernard Berrian.
If you thought those were bad, how about these: Will the number of touchdowns scored by the Bears be more or less than the number of goals scored in the Manchester United vs. Tottenham English Premiere League match that day? Or, will the number of points scored by the Colts be more or less than the number of points scored by LeBron James of the Cavaliers against Detroit that day? Or, will the number of passing yards by Rex Grossman, plus 60 1/2, be more or less than the combined points scored by Dayton, St. Joseph’s, Temple and LaSalle that day? It’s Vegas, baby!
In a related story, an anti-gambling group says there may be one million or more Californians who are compulsive gamblers. Just as with tobacco and other so-called epidemics, the study – commissioned by the state – takes a tiny sample, in this case, 7,000 people, and uses the results to paint a statistical picture of the more than 38 million people living in California.
>> Dateline Miami, Bears camp notes: rookie returns star Devin Hester, who went to the University of Miami, told his team not to worry about the midnight curfew. He told Chicago reporters that he told his teammates, “everything doesn’t start until one o’clock and that’s when we’ll be in bed.”
Said Bears coach Lovie Smith, asked about the South Beach nightlife: “I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t dance . . . What is there for me to do?”
>> Add coaches, this from our friend, long-time broadcaster Charlie Jones in San Diego: “I did a game in Tampa Bay when Tony Dungy was head coach. Every afternoon he went through the coaches’ offices at 5 p.m. and shouted, ‘Everybody go home. Have dinner with your family. I’ll see you tomorrow.’ Tony told me, ‘We can get ready in an eight-hour day.’ His assistants told me they were afraid to come back at night. He might fire them!”
>> Last add coaches: Sam Smith of the Chicago Tribune rightly points out that while this season’s Super Bowl is the first with two African-American head coaches, the NBA had the same situation 32 years ago when Golden State, coached by Al Attles, defeated the Washington Bullets, headed by K.C. Jones.
>> Super Saturday: The Super Bowl XLI Host Committee is holding a “Beauties on the Beach” contest on Saturday, featuring cheerleaders from most of the teams that didn’t make the playoffs, in events such as beach volleyball, flag football, kayaking, tug of war and dance. No word on whether the winning squad gets championship bikinis as prizes.
>> More Super Bowl: senior analyst Gil Brandt of NFL.com noted that 16 Super Bowl teams have had no turnovers during the game; 14 of them have won. And despite the wide difference in perception, the Colts and Bears both scored the same number of points during the regular season, 427 or 26.7 points per game.
>> Last add Super Bowl, why pro football’s no fun: Bob McGinn of the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel illustrated why the pressure in pro football is continuous and unrelenting. His story today, during a week when the Colts are prepping for their first Super Bowl since 1971, notes that the team has no salary cap room left, has the smallest stadium in the league, modest local corporate revenues and defensive stars Dwight Freeney, Cato June and Nick Harper will all be free agents after Sunday. Other than that, things are great!
= NBA/pro basketball =
>> Miami Beach reserve police officer Shaquille O’Neal’s latest assist to the law was nabbing a man who slammed into his Cadillac Escalade. The driver took off and so did O’Neal and his bodyguard, finally catching up to the driver at a gas station, where he was held for police.
>> NBA security report, part II: the Philadelphia Inquirer reported that when Chris Webber moved from the 76ers to Detroit to play for the Pistons, he cleared out his house, leaving only a couple of plasma televisions. Now thieves have taken the TVs, so the house is really clean!
>> More NBA: Sam Smith of the Chicago Tribune is especially tough on LeBron James. Writes Smith, “James is becoming the anti-[Steve] Nash. The other top players in the Cavs’ rotation – Zydrunas Ilgauskas, Drew Gooden, Larry Hughes, Eric Snow and Donyell Marshall – all are averaging below their career scoring averages this season.” Smith points out that “Over the last two seasons, virtually all [Nash’s] teammates have had career years.”
>> Newest rumor: former Lakers guard Eddie Jones was waived by the Grizzlies today after working out a buyout of his remaining contract. Bruce the Moose says he may be headed to the Miami Heat or even to the Clippers! The Memphis Commercial Appeal reported that former University of Washington guard Will Conroy would likely replace Jones with the Grizzlies.
>> All-Star frenzy: ticket brokers say that interest in the February 18 game has pushed prices for ordinary seats up to $2,500 apiece and $10,000 for good seats. It’s not just the All-Star Game, though, but a confluence of the NBA, the Presidents’ Day holiday weekend and the Chinese New Year! Calling for reservations? Better get a loan first!
= All around the world =
>> Soccer call: The Los Angeles Galaxy will limit their open tryouts to 700 men, although more than 1,000 have applied. Although not the 96,000-plus needed to pay off David Beckham’s salary for the coming season, it will still net the Galaxy a nice $91,000 pay-off and maybe even a practice player.
>> Newest sign of the Apocalypse: An online company called AthleticBet.com will allow you to gamble on track and field events, marathons and road races.
>> Boxing update: former South African President Nelson Mandela offered his support to 29-year-old Laila Ali, in town to defend her World Boxing Council and International Boxing Federation women’s super-middleweight championships on Saturday against Gwendolyn O’Neil of Guyana.
>> Bulletin: the Minnesota State High School League wrestling calendar has been suspended for eight days due to an outbreak of herpes! At least 24 cases of Herpes Gladiatorum were reported after a tournament in Rochester in December, so they’re holding off until February 7 to clear things up.
>> Consumption competition report: the unstoppable Joey Chestnut, the world’s no. 2 eater, won again, this time at the Bikinis Bar and Grill String Fry Eating Championship. He downed six pounds, eight ounces of Bikinis’ special french fries in just 10 minutes, beating out Eater X (who ate five pounds) and Chip Simpson at four pounds, four ounces. Chestnut will be in Philadelphia for this week’s Wing-eating contest on Saturday.
~ Rich Perelman
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